Fall Out Girl

Fall Out Boy in Manila was the bomb.

Going to the concert was to me, a rather dubious idea in the first place because I was down to only one day left before the concert, calling sold-out ticket centers all-the-while, keeping my fingers crossed in sheer apprehension for some contest I joined in order to meet the band. Yet, knowing whether or not I would have won, I still wouldn't have tickets in the end.

I knew that my primary resort should always be prayer. In a battle against fans who've been there even before the hiatus.. (I honestly, only started listening to them after but I'm not partial to their new album), I knew Prayer was exactly the best battle plan that could get me through. After quite a few minutes of struggling with a cloud of ideas, I was halted when God intervened by telling me to go with another concept - which was to portray the music video of "The Phoenix". 

At the end of the day (Or shall I say, just HOURS before the concert), not only was I informed that I had won the contest but also that my friend was willing to give me 2 FREE tickets to see them play. 

I cannot tell you that what had happened was out of mere coincidence because (a) I didn't ask for a ticket at all. (b) I didn't mention that I was looking for one. (c ) he agreed to give me the ticket upon the condition that I get 2 FREE tickets instead of one. Friends, you CANNOT look at this and question this situation's providence.

I had to wait 2 hours in line for the meet and greet to start. I was the winner in FIRST PLACE but other people in the contest had  taken my spot in line. I spent the hours trying to devise a plan into sneaking ahead of those women and straight into Patrick's arms. But no cameras, no gifts, no autographs, no pictures, no talking. WOW. What kind of meet and greet would that make it then? I had a few tricks up my sleeve but I was on the verge of breaking down. This patient, surrendering-to-God-and-resorting-in -prayer thing was starting to rip out of me. I kept reminding myself that satan was only trying to trick me into ruining my experience to deprive me of God's real plan for me.-Which is always going to be better than mine. Regardless of the circumstances. 

I prayed super hard. My anxieties were slowly robbing me of the joy of just being in the moment, winning a contest for the first time, meeting Patrick Stump? I was already a victor but I couldn't find myself content until I shared a special moment with Pat. All my plans had been shot down the drain as soon as I got in because we had to leave ALL our belongings outside. I still secretly kept my letter with me though. 

As soon as I got in the room, I immediately ran towards Pat. When I saw the space between him and Andy, I knew this was my chance to get a good picture. I said "Hi" and when I was about to get in between them, some snooty girl sneaks in front of me and takes my place. Here's the thing though… Patrick was aware of it. He saw it with his own eyes and shot me a look of concern. Oh how his bright blue eyes pierced into my soul ever so severely as he expressed his regard for me. I stood beside the girl beside him instead and he even reached in to give me a PAT on the back. (See what I did there?) Right after, he had anticipated my coming back to him as if he felt I had so much to say. I guess he could tell by the look in my eyes that this was a moment I was living my dream. I couldn't see anybody else clearly. I daydreamed even in the moment ever so conspicuously, frozen on cloud 9. And so he stepped forward to me, and here's what happened after:

Me: Could I give you a kiss?

Pat: and a hug!

*Pat wraps his arms around me as he turns his cheek and I give him a sincere, friendly yet affectionate peck*

Me: Is it okay if I give you this?

Pat: what? I'm sorry?

Me: Is it okay if I give you this?

Pat: *Looks at my hand and enthusiastically says* SURE! Sure!

*Then, he takes my wrist with his hand, and with the other, slowly and tenderly slides the letter off my palm*

Pat: Thank you. Hug!

*AGAIN, he reaches in to me and we hug passionately. I hugged him tight like I never wanted to let go. He did too. The kind of hug you can feel all the love and warmth of, the kind that he spins you around without letting go for the longest time. Those were the best seconds of my life*

After I left the room, I cried like crazy. Embarrassing and loud, but all for Patrick Stump. He was worth my teenage tears. At least, in this context.

There's a bigger love story to this, though. What you didn't know was notwithstanding the times I prayed the hardest, I still sinned the most. I was unreasonably angry, impatient, selfish, rude, distracted and foul-mannered. I was aware of how badly I had behaved and the consequences that could have come after it. I knocked my head every time because I knew that because of my sin, I didn't even a little, deserve to win or go to the concert. Truly, only by God's grace did I ever get to come out the victor in the end. 

It took me a lot of effort to get to win the contest. I spent a long time putting on makeup, positioning the camera, tying myself to a chair, taking a shot, untying myself, checking the shot, and starting over again. The cycle went on and on for hours. I felt like giving up. God reminded me of the verse in 2 Corinthians 9:6  saying "You reap what you sow." and I wanted to reap a "date" with Patrick Stump. So I kept on going. I can only imagine of the horror of quitting and in the end finding out that I was already on the right track towards the prize. What If I had given up?

The harder part was getting people to like my photo. The race was tight and I myself was uncertain of my chances in winning. I couldn't pin it down because the other contestants were catching up quickly. But there were 5 winners to be chosen, and I knew I stood a big chance in being one of them. Yet, I tired myself into getting first place. I wanted to be FIRST. Then again, God reminded me of Matthew 23:12 which says "Those who are humbles will be exalted" So I lifted it up to Jesus and asked for His forgiveness. The prize wasn't 1st place. Rather, it was getting to meet my HusBAND. Este, favorite band. (See what I did there?)

There were many lessons I've learnt through this one experience but the bottom-line is this:

God's grace and mercy is far beyond what we could ever deserve. Truly, living life is much easier when you're living on a prayer. By following God's leading in complete surrender to His will, I was able to reach more than what I had expected. Had I not  pushed myself into reaping what I sowed, I wouldn't have won the contest. Had I not swallowed my pride and allowed God's divine intervention, I would have wasted all my time being annoyed and all my effort. Had I not been cheated on by that girl who took my place, Patrick Stump wouldn't have given me special attention. Had I not obeyed God, I wouldn't have been there at all.

I didn't deserve ANY of it. As I said, I sinned and sinned during the process. I'm a FALL OUT girl, I fall so easily into sin. Yet, God CHOSE to bless me. His GRACE amazes me. GG.